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This is the transcript for Shark Tale.
Transcript[]
(DreamWorks Animation logo plays.)
(The moon child gives a slack as he tosses the wire, with a worm attached, down from the sky to the ocean below, much to the worm shriek. Underwater, the worm, holding his breath, gazes around the deep blue while a shark appears behind it, with the Jaws theme music playing. It turns back before the same shark appears, with its top fin briefly blocking the screen. The worms turns until it sees the shark and begins to panic, until he stops as the shark slowly pans down behind him and opens its jaws. The worm turns around to face the shark as it speaks)
Shark: Hi. I'm Lenny. (the worm faints) Oh, little buddy, did I scare you? I'm sorry. Wake up. Wake up. (the worm wakes up as Lenny the shark is untangling him) Okay, don't worry about it, I'll get you out in a jiffy. You just keep holding your breath, little wormie.
Male voice-over: Yo, Lenny.
Lenny: Uh, I'm coming, Frankie.
Frankie: Well, move it. Come on. Pop's waiting.
Lenny: (still untangling the worm from the fish hook; to the worm) Here we go. (finally, the worm is untangled free) And gotcha. Okay, buddy, you're free. (the worm slithers back up to the surface) Now escape. Go. Just go. Cry freedom. (suddenly jolts back as another shark, Frankie, his brother, appears to him) AAH! Oh. You almost gave me a heart attack.
Frankie: (annoyed) Lenny, what are you doing?
Lenny: (picking up sea flowers) Wha? I... I was just... uh.... picking you some flowers. (Frankie purposely slaps Lenny's fins to drop flowers away) Hey! Mom said it's not okay to hit. (Frankie slaps Lenny's cheeks, teasing him) Aah!
Frankie: (smiles naughtily) Mom's not here.
(The two sharks leave. Frankie hums the Jaws theme in front of Lenny)
Lenny: Don't. Don't. (Frankie finishes the theme) Urgh. That song gives me the creeps.
Frankie: Whaddya mean? It's our theme song.
(The camera slowly pans down to the reef below as the screen sign reads "DreamWorks Animation Presents", and a list of celebrities such as Will Smith, Robert De Niro, Renée Zellweger, Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, and Martin Scorese appears on the screen as the camera stops to a reef-alike city. The title fades away as the big screen on a building turns on to reveal a young female fish news reporter, looks around)
Katie Current: (to her crew) Are they gone? Are they gone? You sure? (the static shows for one second until it fades back to the news reporter looks at the camera, aware that she's on. To the camera with a smile) Good morning, Southside Reef. I'm Katie Current, keeping it current. We've received official confirmation the sharks are gone. I repeat: the sharks are gone.
(The big screen turns off before the citizens of fishes and other sea animals roaming around the city as the title "Shark Tale" appears on screen and the song "Three Little Birds" by Sean Paul and Ziggy Marley plays in the background. A ray switches a door sign from "closed" to "open" to a flower shop. A giant fish with a sign "Starfish Tours" swims to stop at the stop, where all the tourist fishes swims towards a walk of fame with starfishes lays on every TBD)
Starfish #1: Tuna Turner!
Starfish #2: Mussel Crowe!
Starfish #3: Jessica Shrimpson!
Starfish #4: Cod Stewart!
(a fifth starfish on the TBD with "Seal" on it, is being stepped on a seal before the scene cuts to a shop with TV in a window playing news)
Katie: Up next, a mother of 800 tells us how she does it all. (scene shows a mother fish with her 800 baby fishes crying before skip to another fish reporter) But first, over to Janice for the traffic report.
Janice: Thanks, Katie. A slight congestion here on the InterReef 95. There's an overturned mackerel. Authorities are trying to calm him down. (a camera follows Janice to a TBD where a large fish, flipped upside down, is sobbing) Get out those shell phones and call in to the boss, 'cause you'll be late.
(a taxi fish yells at another taxi fish)
Taxi fish: Don't you yell at me. My mother is your mother, okay?!
(The first taxi fish groans and swim to another direction around Reef City. It stops to a traffic with a single light reads "don't swim" and changed to "swim". The camera pans down to stop the big green and blue fish opens its mouth where a small fish dumps the pile of garbage into its mouth before it leaves from the seen. In the prawn shop, a white pearl throws at the blue shrimp at the booth where he looks at it)
Blue shrimp: Yup, it's fake.
Clam: (angry) Fake? I worked eight years on that!
(the scene cuts to a group of lobsters, as trains, crawling through the railroad as the camera pans down to a sushi cafe, where it cuts inside where, the song pauses, a waiter fish stays still for 10 seconds before grabs a knife and furiously puts on a table and groans as his restaurant is empty, before the camera zooms back outside, as the song plays back, and the camera pans to a large screen in a building playing news)
Kate: According to the latest Scallop Poll, fear of sharks is at an all-time high. Join us tonight for an in-depth report. How long must this reef live under siege? Is there no hero among us? Who can stop this shark menace?
(the camera cuts to a cool male bluestreak cleaner wrasse fish who turns to the camera)
Oscar: Hi, I'm Oscar. You might think you know, but you have no idea. [rap music] Welcome to my crib. The good life, the way the other half lives. Check it out, I got my " high-def, flat-screen TV with speaker surround, CD, DVD, PlayStation hook-up and an track player for days when you're feeling a little... [beatbox] old school. [laughs] 'Cause even a superstar Mack daddy fish like me has to have the basic necessities.
Yeah, like money. [laughs]
Oscar: Come on, Shorties. Why ya'll messin' with my fantasy?
'Cause you so broke, your baloney has no first name.
Oscar: That's very funny.
Crazy Joe: Hey, Oscar. Over here. I gotta talk to ya.
Oscar: Be right there. Hang onto these.
Oscar, you da fish.
Yo, doo.
Oscar: Yo, Crazy Joe.
Crazy Joe: Now that you live in that penthouse, can I be your financial advisor?
Oscar: That's a billboard, Crazy Joe.
Crazy Joe: You live in a billboard? And they call me crazy.
Hey, Oscar. Look who came to visit.
[shrieks]
[Shorties] Gotcha.
Oscar: No. Don't do that. Shouldn't you be in school?
Shouldn't you be at work?
Right back at me, huh?
Little smart mouth.
Look, I'm on my way.
Stay outta trouble, all right?
And clean that stuff up.
See ya.
[# intro from Car Wash]
Crazy Joe: See ya, Oscar. [laughs]
- Say what, say what
- Car wash, car wash
Yo, what's up, fellas?
Big O's in the house.
What's up?
Hey. Reef side.
Yo, Johnson, is it lunch yet?
You just got here.
That's my point.
Hey, Headphone Guy.
Lookin' good, ladies.
Hey, Oscar.
Keep up the bad work.
Huh? I'm already punched in? Angie.
Angie: Good morning. Can I help you?
Whale: One wash and lube, please.
Hot wax?
Please.
Kelp scrape? We're having a special.
Whale: Why not? It is mating season, and I'm feelin' lucky.
Sykes' Whale Wash. A whale of a wash, and the price... oh, my gosh.
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
May I suggest a barnacle peel?
Removes lines and salt damage.
Good.
Hey, Ang.
Angie: Oh, my gosh. Hi, Oscar.
Thanks for covering for me.
Yo, I'm sorry, Dun. Angie needs to get her freak on.
Would you hold for one moment, please?
Thanks.
Oscar.
- Come on, Ang. Dance with me, mama.
Let me see it.
- Tomorrow I will be rich...
- Come on.
- Oscar. You're gonna get me fired.
Please, you fired?
That can't happen.
'Cause then I would have absolutely no reason to come to work.
Oh, you don't mean that.
Course I do. You're like my best friend.
Listen, tell me what you think about this.
This is like the best idea ever, all right.
It's a sure thing, guaranteed cash extravaganza.
- Bottled water.
- Oh, no.
All I need is an advance on my paycheck from the boss and, Ang, I am out of this place.
I mean, I am... pschoo!
Oscar. Instead of getting in Mr. Sykes' face with another get-rich-quick scheme, go do something you're actually good at: your job, which by some miracle you still have.
Oh. I almost forgot. I brought you some breakfast.
You didn't. Kelpy Kremes?
Your favorite.
By the way, you're still on hold.
Angie: Oh, my gosh! Thank you for holding. Busy, busy. Go. How can I help you? No, I'm sorry. Mr. Sykes is at a meeting right now. He won't be back till later.
Don Lino: How are my little babies this morning? You miss me? You doin' good? Huh? Huh? You see, Sykes, it's a fish-eat-fish world. You either take or you get taken.
Sykes: [winces] Truer words have never been spoken. Is that it? We done?
Don Lino: Now, you and me, we worked together a long, long, long time.
Skyes: Please, Don Lino, it's hardly been like work.
Don Lino: You know...
Sykes: I love that about you.
Don Lino: Let me finish. That I've lived my life for my sons. Raising and protecting them...
Sykes: You're the best! He's the best, right? Am I right or am I wrong? Am I right?
Don Lino: It's all been to prepare...
Sykes: Right?
Don Lino: ...to prepare them...
Sykes: Sorry.
Don Lino: It's alright. ...for the day they run the reef. Well, today is that day. [music recorded is skipping] Luca.
[Luca changes the music playey but it started playing a different song.]
Luca: Hey, boss. Big Butts. [chuckles]
Don Lino: Oi vey! Long story short, from now on you work for Frankie and Lenny. Capiche?
Sykes: Lenny? Frankie, I understand. But Lenny? You can't be serious.
Don Lino: I'm dead serious. It takes more than muscle to run things.
Now Lenny, he's got the brains. That's somethin' special.
Sykes: He's special all right.
Don Lino: What's that supposed to be?
Sykes: Nothing, I'm just sayin'...
Don Lino: Hey, I bring you in here, look you in the eye, tell you what's what, and what?
Sykes: What?
Don Lino: What "what"?
Sykes: What nothing, you said "what" first.
Don Lino: I didn't say what, I asked you what.
Sykes: You said "And then, what?" I said "What?"
Don Lino: No, I said "what what", like what what?
Sykes: You said "what" first.
Don Lino: Now you're making fun of me?
Sykes: No, you misunderstood.
[Frankie and Lenny arrive]
Frankie: Sorry we're late, Pop. Lenny had an accident. He was born.
Lenny: [sarcastic laugh] You're a comic genius.
Sykes: Look, all I'm saying is the kid ain't exactly no killer.
Don Lino: My Lenny is a killer. You hear me? A cold-blooded killer. Look at him. That's it! That's it! You are out!
Sykes: What? [inflates] Whaddya mean I'm "out?"
Don Lino: You're fired.
[He knocks Skyes away Sykes screams and landed on a painting]
Don Lino: And on top of that, you're gonna have to start payin' me.
Sykes: For what?
Don Lino: So nothing happens to your little Whale Wash of yours.
Oscar: Welcome to Oscar's crib. 60-foot slime-covered tongue with canker sores, swim-in cavities, and plankton-encrusted teeth for when I feel a bit... [grunts] old school.
Stop your moaning, Oscar. It could be a lot worse, you know.
Oscar: That's true. I could have this job and look like you. [laughs] Who's behind me? Whoever's behind me better give me some.
[rumbling]
Oscar: Uh oh. Indigestion. She's gonna blow!
Wait! Headphone Guy is still in there!
Oscar: I got you, Headphone Guy!
[whale burps]
[laughs]
Oscar: Still think it could be worse?
Yeah. I could look like you.
Oscar: Y'all funny. Well, see if you laugh at this.
Oscar: Soap in the eye! Soap in the eye! It's all right. I'll get you some coupons, a free hot wax and all that. You like that? All right, go ahead, big baby.
Whale: Thanks, Oscar.
Oscar: All right.
Ernie: Well, look who it is, Bernie.
Bernie: Just the fish we're looking for.
Ernie: Yeah.
Bernie: The boss be needin' to see you right now.
Ernie: Right now.
Oscar: Ernie. Bernie. My jellyfish brothers. Boo-ya-ka. Hey, what's up, man? Man, it's good to see y'all... Huh? What'd you say, Ang? Okay. Fellas, I'm gonna go ahead over there. [singing] But don't worry [beatbox] About a thing 'Cause every little thing Is gonna be all right...
Ernie: That's not the way you sing that song, mon.
Oscar: Sykes, my brother from another mother.
What the deezy, baby?
Show me dat.
What's goin' down?
Hey, baby, this is all gravy today.
Now snap your fin... Snap it.
You're not snappin' it...
Sykes: Oscar.
Oscar: Hey, don't sweat it. A lot of white fish can't do it.
Sykes: Oscar, would you just sit down, okay?
Oscar: Thank you.
Sykes: I've been goin' over my markers.
You're into me for five grand.
5G's, okay?
Oscar: 5G's? Man, you trippin'? 5G's.
Sykes: Oh, yeah?
See if this refreshes your memory.
Oscar: That's crazy, look at that. You wrote everything down so you wouldn't forget.
Wow! This a perfect example of why you're in management, and I'm not.
You go, boy.
Sykes: Look, I have to pay Don Lino protection, so everything you owe me, you owe him.
Oscar: How you figure that?
Sykes: Simple. The food chain.
See, on top there's Don Lino.
There's me, and there's regular fish.
Oscar: That's me.
Sykes: No.
There's plankton, there's amoebas...
Oscar: Then there's me?
Sykes: I'm gettin' there. There's coral, there's rocks, there's whale poo, and then there's you.
Oscar: That's messed up.
Sykes: So if Don Lino's squeezin' me, he's squeezin' you.
Oscar: What?
Sykes: Oscar.
Oscar: Sorry.
Bernie: Easy, boss, find your happy place.
Ernie: Happy place.
Sykes: There is no happy place with him here. [high-pitched] I'm serious.
Oscar: Okay, please. Please, just gimme some time. That's all I'm asking. I'm begging you, Sykes. Please. Please.
Sykes: All right. 'Cause I like you, I'm gonna give you 24 hours to pay up.
Oscar: All of it? How am I supposed to do that?
Sykes: That's your problem. Bring my 5,000 clams to the track tomorrow, or else.
Oscar: Or else what?
Sykes: The boys'll explain.
[Ernie and Bernie zaps Oscar's left eye]
Oscar: Unpleasant.
Angie: 5,000 clams? You borrowed 5,000 clams from Mr. Sykes? Oscar, why do you get yourself into these situations?
Oscar: I don't know, Ang. It's just hard, all right, because I'm a little fish in a big pond. A really big pond. The ocean. I'm a nobody. I want some of that.
Angie: Mrs. Sanchez?
Oscar: What? Ew. No. That. The top of the reef. Where the somebodies live. I wanna be rich and famous like them, but I'm stuck down here.
Angie: Well, what's wrong with down here?
Oscar: I'll tell you what's wrong with down here. Remember my dad? He worked at the Wash his whole life. He was the number one tongue scrubber. Every year for years. To me, working at the Wash was the coolest job in the ocean. But then I learned something I will never forget.
Oscar's dad's a tongue scrubber!
Tongue scrubber! Tongue scrubber!
Oscar: My dad was the greatest. But nobody loves a nobody. I want to be a somebody.
Angie: Oscar, you don't have to live at the top of the reef to be a somebody.
What's the difference? If I don't pay Mr. Sykes back by tomorrow... I'm dead anyway, so...
Angie: Wait here.
Oscar: What's this? A pink pearl?
Angie: Mm-hm.
Oscar: Where'd you get that?
Angie: My grandmother gave it to me. She said it started from a tiny grain of sand, but then, after a while, it grew into something beautiful. Dreams can begin small too.
Oscar: No. No, I couldn't...
- Take it. It'll get you the money you need for Mr. Sykes.
Don Lino: What do you mean, you don't understand? We've been over it times. I don't want to have to say it again. You're really giving me agita, you know that? I don't know how else to say this to you, Lenny. You see something, you kill it, you eat it. Period. Thanks. That's what sharks do. That's a fine tradition. What's the matter with you? Your brother Frankie, here, he's a killer.
Frankie: Thanks, Pop.
Don Lino: He's beautiful. He does what he's supposed to do. Wipe your face. But you... I'm hearin' things. You gotta understand, when you look weak it makes me look weak. I can't have that.
Lenny: I know, Pop, I'm sorry.
Don Lino: Lenny. Lenny. Look at me. Look at me. This handin' over the business, it's for you, for both of yous, and you're acting like you don't even want it. I need to know that you can handle that. All right. [takes a shrimp] Right here, in front of me now, eat this.
Lenny: Yeah. Gee, thanks, Pop. Here's the thing. I'm on a diet. I read an article about these shrimps. They're not good for ya. You know how many calories are in one of those shrimps? A lot.
Shrimp: It's true. It's true and the other thing is, my sister had a baby and I took it over because she passed away and then the baby lost it's legs and it's arms and now it's nothing but a stump but I still take care of it with my wife and it's growing and it's fairly happy, but it's difficult 'cause I've been working a second shift at the factory to put food on the table, but all the love I see in that little guy's face makes it worth it in the end. [beat] True story.
Don Lino: [sighs] I'm not askin' you anymore. I'm tellin' you. Eat it!
Shrimp: No. Have mercy.
Lenny: Pop, please...
Don Lino: Eat!
Shrimp: No eat.
Don Lino: Son, eat the shrimp!
Lenny: No, please.
Don Lino: Lenny! Eat, eat, eat!
Lenny: Don't! Pop! Put the shrimp down! [snatches all the shrimps] Go now. No one's looking. Get out of here. You're free, now go.
Shrimp: Thank you. You're a good person. Come on, fellas.
[The shrimps leaves from the broken window after glarring at Lino. Lino frowns at Lenny.]
Frankie: Pop, If can handle the reef, It's not a problem.
Don Lino: No. We're gonna do this as a family. Frankie, I want you to take Lenny out, show him the ropes.
Frankie: Come on, Pop.
Don Lino: Son, you're gonna learn how to be a shark. Whether you like it or not.
Sykes: That kid better show up or he's dead meat.
Just say the word, boss.
Oscar: Carrying a big ol' envelope full of money, gonna give it to Mr. Sykes.
Hurry up. This is our chance, we don't want to miss it.
You sure?
My trainer friend tipped me off.
The race is rigged. We can't lose.
What's the horse's name?
Lucky Day.
Announcer: ...Lucky Day, at to.
Oscar: We're gonna be rich!
Rich!
Top of the reef, here I come. No, wait. What am I doing? Remember what Angie said. Remember what Angie said. What did Angie say?
Angie: Dreams can begin small. You just have to... bet it all. Bet it all!
Announcer: And Lucky Day wins.
Oscar: Five thousand on Lucky Day to win.
That's to one. That would pay a million clams.
Oscar: Well, I guess that makes me Oscar the millionaire.
Lucky Day. Lucky Day.
- She's dangerous, super bad
- Better watch out, she'll take the cash
- She's a gold digger
She's a gold digger
- She's dangerous, super bad
- Better watch out, she'll take the cash
- She's a gold digger...
Lola: Nice bet. You got a name? You wanna tell me what it is? Well, mine's Lola.
Oscar: C'mon, man! Get your game face on!
[yelps]
So... [chuckles] Lola, my name's...
My name is Oscar, sweetie. [gasps] Mrs. Sanchez.
Mrs. Sanchez: The hippity-hop smooth talk don't work with me.
Oscar: My bad. Hey, so...
Sykes: Oscar. I was starting to think you skipped out on me.
Oscar: Sykes! I see you're already on your way to the concession stand.
Sykes: What are you doing?
Oscar: Mind bringing us back some drinks?
Sykes: Why are you touching me?
Oscar: That would be great, thanks.
And some of them little wiener thingies.
Bernie: The ones with the toothpicks?
Sykes: What are you doing? Don't listen to him.
Oscar: Lola, Let me escort you to... my box.
Your box?!
Sykes: His box?! You can't even afford the gum under the seats.
Lola: He just laid five grand on Lucky Day.
I think he can afford anything he wants.
Sykes: Five grand? My five grand?!
Oscar: No, it was another five grand.
Sykes: You had the money to pay me back and you bet it anyway?
Oscar: Hold up.
Sykes: Gimme that!
Oscar: Sykes!
Lola: Clearly I've made a mistake.
Oscar: No, no, wait! Lola!
Lola: Look. Deep down, I'm really superficial. And don't get me wrong, you're cute, but... you're a nobody.
Bernie: Oscar, you cute, but you're a nobody.
Ernie: Wait. Lola. Come back. I'm not a nobody. I'm a wiener!
[Ernie and Bernie laugh]
Sykes: You are unbelievable. You're in trouble up to your gills and still you're askin' for more. Now go on, get in here. Oscar, you better pray that this horse of yours comes through. Bettin' my five thousand. Hey. Outta my seat. You, outta my seat. Unbelievable.
Ernie: Sit tight and watch the race.
Bernie: With your good eye.
Ernie: Good eye.
[both laughing]
Announcer: The horses are at the post. And they're off! Fish Fingers, then Seabiscuit and Salmonella. Lucky Day seems to be having trouble getting out of the gate.
Oscar: What?
Announcer: Only a sucker would bet on that horse.
Oscar: Don't sweat it, man. He does this all the time. He's just playin'.
Announcer: What's this? Lucky Day is now crashing his way through the gate, and he's off and running.
Seabiscuit, Fish Fingers...
Please, Lucky Day.
Oscar: Go fast.
Announcer: Coming around the turn it's Seabiscuit by a length and Lucky Day well behind. And here comes Lucky Day, coming up from behind, passing Yellow Tail, Salmonella.
Oscar: You see? Who's your fish now? Go.
Announcer: Around the final turn, here comes Lucky Day. Lucky Day's now caught up to Fish Fingers. They're head to head. Neck to neck.
Lucky Day's ahead.
Oscar: I'm tired just thinkin' about countin' all of this money.
Announcer: Look at Lucky Day go.
Oscar and Sykes: # We're movin' on up
- To the eastside...
Announcer: Absolutely amazing! This looks to be Lucky Day's big day. It's Lucky Day.
[thud]
What happened? Lucky Day is down.
Oscar and Sykes: # We're movin' on the to eastside
Oscar: No!
Announcer: Here's Fish Fingers, followed by Seabiscuit, Yellow Tail... And Fish Fingers wins.
Oscar: Wait. I just want to hold you.
Sykes: No, Get outta my way. Let me see, will ya?
Announcer: What a sad day for Lucky Day.
Oscar: Remember your "happy place", Sykes.
Announcer: That's why they call him a long shot.
Oscar: Yo, that was crazy, right? Who knew? Everything's set, it's a lock, we good to go, we in the money, and he trips underwater. Who in the halibut trips underwater? And by the way, on what?
Sykes: That's it. That's it, I've had it. [high-pitched] Ernie. Bernie. I want you to find the deepest hole in the ocean and when you do, dig deeper. And put him in it!
[The jellyfish tied Oscar up.]
Sykes: Sorry, kid. It's nothing personal. It's just business.
Ernie and Bernie: # Don't worry
- About a thing
- 'Cause every little thing
- Is gonna be all right - This is how you sing it, Oscar.
- Yeah. Sykes, he like you, mon.
Him say take it easy on you. - But Sykes is not here. [laughs]
- True.
Bernie: Ernie, let me ask you a question.
Ernie: Yeah, mon? Go on.
Bernie: Why is it that me locks can sting other people, but they have no effect on me or you? - [zap]
Bernie: Ernie. I didn't mean it, Ernie.
I didn't mean it, man. Ernie. Ernie, you made a joke.
Good one, man. Respect. Bloodfire.
Lenny: Frankie, you know I can't do this.
Frankie: Lenny, if you wanna make Pop happy, you've gotta kill something.
Lenny: Or, I could find an old, sick fish and just wait.
Frankie: It's gettin' around, your thing at the restaurant. You know how fish talk. This, that, the other. How you doin'? Boom. Forget it, you're dead.
Lenny: Okay, seriously, I can't understand wise guy so be more specific.
Frankie: Specific? You want specific? [hits Lenny] Be a shark for once in your life.
Lenny: What am I gonna do?
Frankie: Lenny, forget about it, okay? We do a couple of practice runs, badda-bing badda-boom, Pop's happy, you're a shark, life goes on. Capiche?
Lenny: Okay. Okay, capiche.
Frankie: Bingo. Right there. Dead ahead. You see it? TV dinner. Don't get easier than this.
Lenny: All right. Come on. Eye of the tiger. Frankie, I can do this. What if I can't do this?
Frankie: Then don't bother comin' home.
Lenny: Good point. All right.
[Lenny swims to the bottom of the wasteland.]
Hit him in the tail again.
- I like the funny face he make.
- Yeah.
Bernie: Ernie.
Ernie: Blow out!
[The terrified jellyfish swim away]
Oscar: Guys? Guys? Don't leave me alone. Come on, there could be sharks out here.
Lenny: Oh, no. Wait. I'm sorry. No, no, no. I'm not gonna...
Frankie: Lenny. Like this.
Lenny: What? Oh, no.
[Lenny groans]
Oscar: Just get it over with. Wait a minute. Do me a favor, don't chew me. I'm not for that.
Lenny: I'm not gonna eat you.
Oscar: Come on! Don't do the whole head trip thing with me.
Lenny: Listen to me. Don't move until I tell you. [bites the seaweed free]
Oscar: Ahhh! Back up.
Frankie: That's it, Len. There you go, buddy. That's it. Wave those fins, baby. Dig in.
Lenny: [snarls] Look, I'm just pretending so you can get away. Now, when I turn around, you take off. Tastes just like chicken. Mmm. Mmm.
Frankie: Oh, no.
[Lenny looks and notice Oscar is still there.]
Lenny: What did I tell you?
Oscar: I'm sorry, I didn't get it. You want me to go now?
Lenny: What are you doing? Just go.
Frankie: That's it! I've had it up to here! [snarls]
Oscar: Oh no.
Lenny: Hurry, swim! No, Frankie, wait!
Oscar: No! Get your boy, get your boy!
[Before Frankie can eat Oscar, a massive anchor hit Frankie on the head before he could bite the fish.]
Lenny: [gasps] Frankie!
[Lenny cuts the chain and removed the anchor off of Frankie.]
Frankie: Lenny? [coughs] Lenny, is that you?
Lenny: I'm here, Frankie.
Frankie: Come closer.
Lenny: Yes, what is it?
Frankie: I'm so cold.
Lenny: That's just because we're cold-blooded. [gets slapped] Ow!
Frankie: Moron. [dies]
Lenny: Frankie, no... [wails] NOOOOOO! This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, Frankie. How am I ever going to explain this to Pop? [sobs] Oh, no.
[Lenny leaves]
Oscar: Back up. I'm crazy. I be trippin'.
- [makes kung fu noises]
-- Ow
What the...
[scream]
[both screaming]
Bernie: Don't hurt us. We're sorry. It was all Ernie's idea.
Ernie: Oscar.
Bernie: Did you kill that shark?
Oscar: [looks down at Frankie before having an idea) Uh... yeah. Exactly how it look, that's how it is.
Bernie: What happened?
Oscar: You wanna know what happened?
Bernie: Yeah. You're standing on top of a shark.
Ernie: Go on, man.
Oscar: Well, I'll tell you what happened.
[Later, Oscar tells everyone at the Car Wash]
Oscar: Big ol' shark, about seven five hundred feet long. So he's swimming at me, right? With teeth like razors.
Angie: Razors.
Oscar: And I was, like, you're gonna come at me like that? You're gonna come at the "O" like that?
Angie: Do the muscle thing, the muscle thing.
Oscar: Oh, right. So I told that dude, "You see this guy?" and I pointed like this. Well, he's got a brother. And he lives right over here. And I think it's time for a little family reunion.
Bernie: You see, mon. I told you.
Ernie: We were right there.
Lady fish: Pardon me. Move it!
- Oh. Sorry.
Bernie: She seems so nice on TV.
Katie: Oscar, Katie Current. As the first fish in history to ever take on a shark and win, tell me: Does this mean you're now protector of the reef, new sheriff in town?
Oscar: Katie, I'm gonna keep it real. I can call you Katie, right?
Katie: Of course.
Oscar: Any shark try to mess around in Oscartown is goin' down. Yeah, it's poetic. In the heat I get poetic.
Lola: Oscar. Hmm. Oscar.
Sykes: Get out of here, you barracudas. Any further questions will be fielded by me.
Katie: And you are?
Sykes: I'm his manager. Sykes, with a "y".
Crazy Joe: And I'm his financial advisor. You want to see my puppets? [raspy voice] Hello.
Oscar: Could you excuse us for a moment, please? My manager?
Sykes: Kid, you're a superstar. We're gonna make a fortune. Just let me handle it.
Oscar: What about the G's?
Sykes: Forget the G's. From now on, we're partners.
Oscar: So what are we talking about here?
Sykes: I'm thinkin' 99-10 split?
Oscar: That's generous.
Sykes: You're the I'm .
Oscar: I don't think so.
Sykes: Talk to me.
Oscar: You get 15.
Sykes: 70.
Oscar: 20.
Sykes: 75.
Oscar: Dude, you're goin' the wrong way.
Both: 50/50.
Sykes: You happy?
Oscar: No. You?
Sykes: No.
- Deal.
Oscar: My manager and I are now prepared to take your questions.
Katie: Oscar, are you going to continue working here at the Wash?
Oscar: Please, I barely work here now.
Sykes: Keep it up, kid. You're slayin' 'em.
Katie: No. He's slayin' sharks.
Sykes: Hey, that's good. That's good, I like that. Oscar the Sharkslayer.
Whoa! A sharkslayer.
Katie: You heard it here first. From now on, any shark tries to bother this reef, it's his funeral.
[Meanwhile the Sharks moron the loss of Frankie.]
Shark: Nomine Patri, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.
I could fly higher than an eagle
If you are the wind beneath my wings #
[coughs]
- Frankie, we'll miss you.
- [All] To Frankie.
Hammerhead: It's a terrible thing, Don Lino. Everybody loved Frankie. May whoever did this die a thousand deaths. May his stinking, maggot-covered corpse rot in the fiery depths of hell.
Don Lino: Thank you for your kind thoughts, Giuseppe.
Hammerhead: Oh, and may Lenny be found safe and sound too. Hope he's okay.
Don Lino: Oh, Lenny...
Luca: Don't worry, boss.
Don Lino: I said some things to him... We gotta find him.
Luca: We're searching everywhere. Forget about it, he'll turn up.
Don Lino: What's wrong with that kid? Why's he gotta be so different? Frankie, God rest his soul, he was perfect. Perfect.
[Lenny, outside of the window leaves]
Don Lino: Oh... Luca. Who could have done this?
Feinberg: Don Lino, at this most difficult time, please accept my deepest condolences.
Don Lino: Thank you, Don Feinberg, for honoring my son with your song.
Feinberg: I got some news, about the guy who took out Frankie.
Don Lino: Let's... Yeah, let's talk over here.
[They swim to the window]
Feinberg: He come out of nowhere, this guy. Calls himself "The Sharkslayer."
Don Lino: [clears throat] Ira, over here.
Feinberg: Sorry. "The Sharkslayer."
Don Lino: Where do I find him?
Feinberg: He's from the Southside Reef. That's all we could dig up.
Don Lino: Thank you.
Feinberg: Any requests?
Don Lino: Luca.
Feinberg: That Titanic song?
Other sharks: No.
Don Lino: Get Sykes. He knows that reef better than anybody. I wanna find this guy. I wanna know about him, where he lives, where he sleeps. He pops a gill? I wanna know about it. Who is this Sharkslayer?
Male fish: Here he is. The Sharkslayer.
[# Mary J. Blige: Got To Be Real]
[As the music played, Oscar becomes famous and had his picture on banenrs, screens and magazines. HE even had his own apartment in the penthouse.]
Oscar: Let's get this party started right.
[The scene changes into a dance party]
Sykes: There he is, the big O.
Oscar: Sykes.
Sykes: Pound that dog. Pound it. Oscar, raise the reef.
Raise the reef, buddy.
- Uh, yeah...
- Oh, yeah. Hot.
Oscar: Yeah, that's pretty...
Sykes: Come on, cabbage patch.
Cabbage patch.
Come on, cabbage patch.
Cabbage patch.
Oscar: Angie, you made it.
Angie: Wait, you're gonna break my gift.
Oscar: Come on. You didn't have to get me anything. What'd you get me?
Angie: What does every bachelor pad need?
Oscar: A lava lamp? How did you know I love lava lamps? You know what, I'm gonna put it right here next to my other one. Hey, come on, Ang. I wanna show you the best thing about this place. How great is this view?
Angie: Top of the reef. It's amazing.
Oscar: I know. It's beautiful, right?
Angie: Like you... Like you... your new apartment. It's... wow. Awesome. What I'm trying to say is that I'm proud of you.
Oscar: Yeah. It was nothing, really, you know. Hey... Hey, oh, you know what, wait right here. Don't move. I'll be right back. Girl, you are gonna flip.
[He swims off and returns.]
Oscar: I'm back.
Angie: You're back.
Oscar: You know what, Ang? Where I am right now, this whole new life I got... All my dreams comin' true... In a weird kinda way... Well, I never could've done it without you.
Angie: Oh, sure you could. Well, probably not. [chuckles]
Oscar: Ang. Here.
Angie: Oh! Oscar!
Oscar: I know. I know. I'm just sorry that it took so long.
Angie: That's okay.
Oscar: Bam! Huh?
Angie: My grandmother's pearl.
Oscar: With interest. Now, I don't forget anything, and I never forget who my friends are. Ang, I...
Lola: Oh, hi. I'm not interrupting something, am I?
Angie: Yes, we're talking.
Oscar: No. Hey, Lola. Wow. You're here. You, er, you gotta come best my meet friend, Angie. Uh, uh, eat my best men, Wangie...
Lola: Your best friend? Oh, that's sweet. So you won't mind if I steal him for a while, will you? So, look who's a somebody after all.
Oscar: Well, you know...
[Before they can share a tende rmoment, a fish appears]
male fish: Sharks! On the... on the edge of the reef! Th... Th... They're great whites!
Oscar: Sharks. Okay, everybody go home to your loved ones, spend the last few hours that you have with each other. I mean... That's the way it used to be around here. We'd have been all scrambling for cover and stuff, but not since Oscar came to town. So, Lola, baby, just wait here and I'm gonna be right back. I'm gonna go take care of these sharks.
Sykes: Go get 'em, tiger.
Oscar: Woo! Biceps, triceps.
- All right, Oscar.
- Go get 'em, Oscar.
Shark #1: Lenny. Where the heck is he? Lenny!
Shark #2: Hey. What are you doin'? There's a sharkslayer out here. You wanna be next?
Shark #1: Oh, yeah... [whispers] Lenny? Lenny?
Oscar: [sighs with relief] That was close.
Lenny: Super close. Don't panic. Quiet. We're safe.
Oscar: Oh, no, not you again.
Lenny: Yeah. Ah! What was that?!
Oscar: Yo! What is with you, man?!
Lenny: Shh! He could be anywhere.
Oscar: Who?
Lenny: Shh! The Sharkslayer.
Oscar: There's no sharkslayer out here.
Lenny: [chuckles] Yes, there is.
Oscar: [mimics chuckle] No, there is not. Trust me on this one.
Lenny: Get a hold of yourself, man! This is no time to act crazy!
Oscar: You the one acting crazy, crazy!
Lenny: [sighs] You're right. I'm sorry. I haven't been myself since the... the, uh... Don't cry. [cries in anguish]
[Sobbing, Lenny laid onto a sponge bed.]
Oscar: No, no, it's not all that. Just relax.
Lenny: It's my fault... kinda... not really... but still. My brother...
Oscar: You just need a little time, man. Look, things'll work out.
Lenny: You think?
Oscar: Yeah. So, look, I'm gonna take off... And you should just go home, okay?
Lenny: Okay.
Oscar: Hey, good luck, dawg.
Lenny: Wait.
Oscar: What, man?
Lenny: I didn't catch your name.
Oscar: Oscar.
Lenny: I'm Lenny. Hi.
Oscar: Hi.
Lenny: Where do you live?
Oscar: Lenny, where I come from, fish don't like to get grabbed by sharks.
Lenny: Sorry.
Oscar: Go home.
Lenny: There is no home for me now. Don't you understand?
Oscar: You too big to be grabbing on me.
Lenny: Take me home with you. You won't even notice I'm there. I'm like the invisible shark.
Oscar: Are you crazy?
Lenny: [sobs] Please. I'm begging you. Don't leave me alone.
[kid] Put your fins on the wall where I can see 'em.
[Oscar looked over to see the shorties.]
Gotcha.
Oscar: Hey. Yo, The Shorties.
- Oscar.
Oscar: What y'all doin' here?
- Check out my mad burner.
- [all] Whoop, there it is.
How ya like that?
Oscar: Hey, y'all kids got some skills.
It's wild style, doo.
Oscar: What did I tell you? You kids shouldn't be doin' this. And besides, it's not safe to be out here at night.
It is now, bro-bro. You the Sharkslayer.
Yeah, bro-bro.
Lenny: Sharkslayer?
- What was that?
[coughs loudly]
Oscar: Sometimes I be coughin' for nothin'. I need you off these streets, seriously. Get your butts home. I'll tell your moms y'all doin' bad stuff.
Let's go make Mr. Sykes puff up.
Yeah.
Bye, Oscar.
[kid] See ya later, doo.
Oscar: Lenny. Did you see what just happened there?
Lenny: I know. [laughing] They think you're the Sharkslayer. As if! [cackles]
Oscar: I don't appreciate your funky tone, actually.
Lenny: No, wait up. Hey. I'm sorry, seriously. I don't want you mad at me, and I certainly don't want you to [sniggers] slay me.
Oscar: You're having a good time? You're enjoying yourself? Well, for your information, I am the Sharkslayer. Oscar the Sharkslayer. That's what people be sayin'.
Lenny: Wait. You mean, you...
Oscar: Yeah.
Lenny: When the anchor... [gasps] Oh, you're a liar.
Oscar: Hey, I didn't lie, all right? All right, I lied. But it was a little lie. Come on, who's it gonna hurt anyway? Man, I'm not explaining myself to you. You're on your own.
Lenny: No problem. And if, God forbid, someone should, I don't know, find out the truth about the Sharkslayer on my way back...
Oscar: You wouldn't.
Lenny: I would.
Oscar: Come here. Of course you can come with me. But, you know, you're a shark, right? And I'm a Sharkslayer, so we can't be seen together. You dig, dog?
Lenny: Dig. Dog. Dog dig. Dig dog. Yeah, yo diggy dog.
Oscar: Just come on. OK, Lenny, follow my every move and don't make a sound.
Lenny: You got it. Ooh, an echo. Echo! [echoes] Now batting for the Southside Sharks...[smacking] Ow! It's not okay to hit.
[# Justin Timberlake & Timbaland: Good Foot]
[They get out of the manhole cover and hide once the police dolphin passed. Lenny was told to stay hereeee as Oscar stealthy swims to the Whale Wash warehouse. Oscar tells him to stay quiet once he comes out.]
Oscar: Get your tail in there.
Lenny: Do you think anybody heard that?
Crazy Joe: Who was that? Who? Hey. Who's out there?
Oscar: Yo. Crazy Joe.
Crazy Joe: I thought I heard something. Did you get that shark?
Oscar: You have no idea, Joe.
Crazy Joe: That's great. Well, gotta go. My show's on.
[# Theme From The Benny Hill Show]
[Crazy Joe laughs]
Oscar: All right. We're safe. For now.
Lenny: Hey, a bed. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's heaven, yeah. Snuggly, buggly, wuggly. I love you, man.
Oscar: Whoa. Hold up.
Lenny: You're my new best friend.
Oscar: Stop it. OK, you wanna be friends? Fine. But we gotta lay down some rules. Rule number one: No snuggly, buggly... Whatever that just was.
Lenny: You got it. Anything else?
Oscar: Rule number two, and this is the most important rule. In the event that possibly you get hungry...
Lenny: Don't worry, I won't eat anyone. If you haven't noticed, I'm different from other sharks. Let's put it that way, leave it at that. Good night.
Oscar: Define "different".
Lenny: You'll laugh.
Oscar: I'm not gonna laugh.
Lenny: That's what you say, and then what happens? You laugh.
Oscar: Lenny, I give you my word.
Lenny: Okay, I will tell you. I'm... I'm a vegetarian.
Oscar: [stifles laugh] Hold up. So that's it?
Lenny: What do you mean, that's it? You're the first fish I ever told. I'm tired of keeping it a secret. And my dad, he'll never accept me for who I am. What's wrong with me?
Oscar: Nothin' is wrong with you, man. I think all sharks should be like you.
Lenny: God, that's sweet of you to say.
Oscar: And stop blaming yourself for what happened.
Lenny: Really?
Oscar: If you wanna blame anybody, blame me. If I hadn't been there in the first place, none of this would've happened.
Lenny: Jeez, if Pop knew that, he'd ice you for sure.
Oscar: "Ice". What's he, the Godfather or something?
Lenny: Yeah.
Oscar: Whatcha mean, "yeah"?
Lenny: Yeah, he is. Hey. Are you all right?
[In Oscar's apartment.]
Bernie: Oh, man. I told you.
Ernie: I'm doing it.
Bernie: X, circle, X X, double left square, right trigger, down, square, square.
Ernie: Double square. Respect.
Bernie: Respect.
Sykes: I've got news for you. The Sharkslayer made me his manager. So I'm now, what I like to call, untouchable. You hear me?
[Oscar enters]
Oscar: Sykes.
Bernie: Hey, Oscar.
Oscar: Hey! Sykes?
Sykes: Hey, there he is. My brotha, my player, the Sharkslayer.
Oscar: Whatever. Listen...
Sykes: And another thing. For now on, you'll have to pay me protection.
Oscar: Sykes. The deal is off. That shark I killed was Don Lino's son.
Sykes: I know. Ain't it great?
Oscar: Not if he finds out.
Sykes: What do you mean? He's on the phone right now. That's right, Lino, I got the Sharkslayer right here in front of me. And he's gonna slay you and all your sharks.
Oscar: Sykes, shut up! Shut up!
Sykes: Hey, that's good, I like that. Shut up, Lino. Shut up! What? Kid, he wants to talk to you.
Oscar: No. I'm not here.
Sykes: Yeah, he's right here.
Oscar: [gently] Hello.
Don Lino: Shut up? Shut up? You don't tell me "shut up". I tell you shut up! [beeping on line] Hello?
Luca: How you doin'? Give me a pie with everything on it. Anchovies, meatballs, mushrooms...
Don Lino: Luca.
Luca: Hi, Boss. Why you working in a pizza joint?
Don Lino: Get off the phone!
Luca: But I'm hungry!
Don Lino: [sighs] My guys are comin' for you, Sharkslayer! They're gonna tear you fin from fin!
Sykes: Come on, who's your puff daddy? Who takes care of you? Come on, you two, we got work to do.
Mon, I was winning.
Oscar: Sykes. You got it all wrong.
Sykes: They'll write songs about you.
- Oh, the shark bites
Oscar: Sykes.
- # With his teeth, dear - Sing it, mon.
- # And then Oscar
- Kicked his butt #
Oscar: Sykes, man! Come on.
Lola: Maybe I can help.
[Oscar looks and notices Lola]
Oscar: Hey. Lola? What're you doing here? You just be poppin' up, sometimes, places.
Lola: Well, you said to wait, so... I've been waiting.
Oscar: Look, I don't have a lot of time for the hand-clappy makin'-the-lights-go-off music-playing-in-the-dark thing.
Lola: What are you afraid of?
Oscar: Afraid... [laughs] Yeah, that's funny. I ain't afraid of nothin', it's just... Ooh.
Lola: Oh, baby, you are so tense.
Oscar: Yeah, I've been stressed lately, you know, protecting the reef. I do that by myself, you know. It's just crazy.
Lola: It's too much, it's piling up...
Oscar: Yeah, you know, one thing on top of the other. Actually, I was thinking about retiring.
Lola: You don't want to do that.
Oscar: I don't?
Lola: You have worked your way to the top. You don't want to go back to the bottom, do you?
Oscar: No. No way.
Lola: You just show 'em who's boss and those sharks will leave you alone.
Oscar: Yeah, you're right.
[Oscar returns to the Whale Wash warehouse.]
Oscar: [quietly] Lenny. Psst! Lenny? Where are you?
Angie: Hello, Oscar.
Oscar: Angie. Hey, what are you doing here?
Angie: What, did you forget something? Oh, maybe you forgot your shark.
Lenny: Hi.
Oscar: Uh... Shark! Swim, Angie, I'll cover you. Quick, before it's too late. Go on without me.
Angie: Oh, stop it. Your pet shark here told me everything.
Oscar: Dang, Lenny, why would you do that?
Lenny: I don't know... I like her.
Angie: Thank you. I like you, too. [to Oscar] What were you thinking, bringing him in here?
Oscar: No, I'm still working out the kinks.
Angie: Kinks? You lied. Everybody thinks you slayed the shark.
Oscar: Who am I to tell them they're wrong?
Angie: How could you lie to me? Me!
Oscar: Don't take it personally. Come on, I lied to everybody. All right, look, I'm sorry. I totally betrayed you, but listen, I got just one little problem I gotta take care of.
Angie: Oh, what's that?
Oscar: Sharks are coming to get me!
Angie: And they should. I mean, what'd you expect? You'd take credit for killing a shark, and then everything would be fine and dandy for the rest of your life?
Oscar: Uh... yeah. But, hey, don't you worry about it. Me and Lenny got it. We gonna fix it.
Lenny: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's with the "We"? I don't want any part of this.
Oscar: Too late, veggie-boy. They're lookin' for you, too.
Lenny: Point taken. What's the plan?
Oscar: This is what we gonna do.
Angie: Oscar! Here's the plan. You tell the truth. And, you, go home.
[Oscar and Lenny both stare at each other and then they both laugh]
Oscar: All right, look, this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna paint you up all bloody. A mess, right? Then you gonna swim out and meet the sharks before they get here. And you're gonna say, "Stop. Don't y'all. Don't go no farther!" "That Sharkslayer's crazy, man!" "He beat me senseless. He's a stone-cold killer, man!" Then you could tell 'em I'm huge. Tell 'em I'm handsome. Throw that in, say I'm buff.
Angie: You are going way too far.
Lenny: Actually, he hasn't gone far enough.
Oscar: Exactly. What?
Lenny: You need to slay a shark, and I need to disappear. Here's what we're gonna do.
Katie Current: Katie Current, reporting live. - We've had unconfirmed reports of a...
- [fish screams] Shark!
[Lenny hums Theme From Jaws]
- # Da-da-da
Katie: Look. It's the Sharkslayer!
Da-da-da-da!
Katie: Holy mackerel. Did we get that?
Hey, Ang. Oscar's on the TV.
Oscar: Show me that. Go ahead with your bad self. Do you hear them, Lenny? They are goin' crazy, man. They love us.
Lemny: They love you. They hate me. Can we switch sides? I can be the Fishslayer. They'll never see it coming.
Oscar: Come on, man. You sell this, you'll never have to go home again. You can start a new life. Now gimme a growl.
Lenny: Okay. Like that?
Oscar: That was... pretty good. Let's go.
Sykes: Is that all? Do you understand how huge my client is? Turn on your TV.
Oscar: Lenny. Lenny! Lenny!
Sykes: Turn off your TV. Turn off your TV.
Oscar: Don't swallow.
Lenny: Oscar?
Oscar: No, it's Pinocchio. Of course it's me. Why did you do that?
Lenny: I'm sorry.
Oscar: No. "Sorry" is when you step on somebody's fin at the movies. "Sorry" is when you say, "When's the baby due?" and it turns out the person's just fat. This is as far away from "sorry" as you could possibly get.
Lenny: But, Oscar, I think I'm gonna puke.
Oscar: No, no. Lenny, just open up. Nice and easy.
Oscar: Are you not entertained? You can't handle the truth! You had me at hello!
[# Elvis Vs JXL: A Little Less Conversation]
Sykes: Turn your TV back on. Why are you turning your TV off?
Luca: This reef is huge. How we supposed to find the Sharkslayer?
Oscar: This is it, Lenny. Big finish. Just like we practiced.
Lenny: The flying fish?
Oscar: The flying fish.
Oscar: A little help here, buddy boy?
Lenny: Sorry.
Oscar: Thank you.
[screams]
[Lenny wails]
Lenny: Curse you, Sharkslayer!
[makes crashing sound]
Oscar: Yeah, and you tell Don Lame-o that I don't never, ever, ever, never, want to see another shark on this reef again. Ever. Remember this name. Oscar the Sharkslayer.
Sykes: You see? You see?
[crowd chants] Oscar! Oscar!
Yay!
- [crowd] # Oscar, boom bye-ay
- Oscar, boom bye-ay
Oscar: Look at Oscar.
- Oscar, boom bye-ay
Oscar, boom bye-ay
Woo! Hey... Lola.
TV: Seems The Sharkslayer not only conquered a few sharks today, but maybe a few hearts? Has the reef's most eligible bachelor been snapped up? I'm Katie Current, here live, watching the Sharkslayer making out.
Lenny: Hey, Angie, can you hand me the blue one? Thank you.
Oscar: Look who stepped in the room! [laughs]
Lenny: [laughs] Yeah!
Oscar: Oscar and Lenny. What a team, baby. Give me that, give me some fin.
High fin. Low fin.
Oscar: Yo, did you see me? I was like... [makes kung fu noises] I was crazy.
Lenny: When you punched me, and the crowd was...
Oscar: Yeah, they ate it up. You didn't know I had it in me, did you? It was like an Oscar-splosion.
Lenny: How good was I?
Oscar: You was the bomb.
Lenny: Thank you. Thank you. And hey, hey, hey, Casanova. I saw your big finish on the news. Nice smooch, lover boy.
Oscar: lxnay on the isskay, man. That's private.
Angie: Private? The entire reef saw you do it.
Oscar: Hey, somebody's in a bad mood. C'mon, Ang, lemme see that smile. Show me the smile, baby...
Angie: Knock it off.
Oscar: What has gotten into you?
Angie: Me? I swear, sometimes I wanna take your big dumb dummy-head, and just...
Oscar: Ang, what is the problem?
Angie: Problem? No problem. I don't have a problem. Miss Perfect is the one with the problem.
Lenny: Hey, you guys...
Oscar: What do you got against Lola?
Angie: Not my lips, that's for sure.
Oscar: What's goin' on?
Lenny: I'm gonna stay outta this one.
Oscar: Why would you even care about Lola anyway?
Angie: I don't.
Oscar: You don't.
Angie: No.
Oscar: No what?
Angie: I don't know.
Lenny: You wanna...
Both: No!
Angie: Just tell me, Oscar, 'cause I'm curious. Why do you think she's interested, huh? Do you think for one minute that she'd even be with you if you weren't the famous Sharkslayer?
Lenny: Please, don't fight.
Angie: Are you blind?
Oscar: She treats me like I'm somebody.
Angie: Would she love you if you were nobody?
Oscar: Nobody loved me as a nobody.
Angie: I did. Before the money, and before the fame. Before the lie. To me you were a somebody, Oscar. Now you're nothing but a fake. A sham. A con. You're a joke.
Lenny: Here I come... Ta-da! Sebastian the Whale-Washin' Dolphin.
Oscar: Angie...
Angie: No, forget it. Just go. I'm tired of hearing how everything you had in your life wasn't good enough. Including me.
Lenny: Angie?
Angie: Oh, Honey, I'm sorry. Go, go back and do it again.
Lenny: Hey, come on. It'll be OK.
Oscar: You can't handle the truth. You've got Shark Breath.
Mrs. Sanchez: What you kids doing? How many times I have to tell you? It's past your bed time. Go on.
Crazy Joe: Hey. What are you kids up to? That looks pretty good. You should do this for a living.
Whale: Preparation "O". It slays hemorrhoids like Oscar slays sharks. Hey, Oscar. Preparation O...
Oscar: Angie was right. I am a joke.
Lola: Hey, Sharkslayer. Why are you out here? All your friends are inside.
Oscar: Not all my friends.
Lola: You mean that little bottom feeder from the Whale Wash? Forget about her. She's a nobody.
Oscar: No, I'm the nobody.
Lola: [laughs] Oh, let me guess. She told you that she loves you. Is that it? [laughs] It's not like you feel the same way about her. [laughs]
Oscar: You know, I don't think this is gonna work out.
Lola: Wait, are you dumping me? Let me explain something to you.
- We're gonna party like it's your birthday
[thudding]
Ha! Young love.
[partygoers laugh]
[# The Four Tops: I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)]
- Sugar-pie, honey-bunch
- You know that I love you
- I can't help myself
- I love you and nobody else...
Lenny: Hey, Oscar!
Oscar: I can't talk. I gotta find Angie. I need to tell her I love her.
- You come and you go...
Way to go, Oscar.
Irie. Whale Wash, where you...
Gimme it. Irie. Whale Wash, where you...
Gimme it.
Where you get a whale of a wash...
Gimme the phone.
Ernie: ...and the price is very, very low, considering how good the wash is.
Bernie: Good one, Ernie.
Sykes: How many times do I have to tell you? It's "gosh." "You get a whale of a wash, and the price, oh, my gosh."
Bernie: Me gets it, man.
Ernie: Whale Wash? Rhymes with gosh.
Sykes: Gimme that. Get outta here. Go be useless someplace else.
Oscar: Sykes, where's Angie?
Sykes: You tell me. Whale Wash, you get a whale of a wash... It's for you.
Oscar: Hello?
Luca: Is this the Sharkslayer?
Oscar: Yeah, who's this?
Luca: It's Luca the Octo... I mean, forget about it. Now you follow these instructions to the letter, OK? File cabinet. Top drawer. There's a package. Get it. That's right, tough guy, we've got your girl. There's a sit-down in one hour.
Lenny: Who is it?
Oscar: Shh!
Luca: Be there, if you don't wanna see her sleepin' with the fishes. The dead ones. Now, nod your head if you understand. Now, tell me if you nodded your head.
Oscar: I nodded. They got Angie. And they want a sit-down. I never meant for anybody to get hurt, especially not Angie. This is all my fault.
Syke: Classic move. I've seen it a thousand times.
Lenny: They take the thing you love the most, and then they use it against you.
Oscar: We gotta go to that sit-down and we gotta save her.
Lenny: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, I wanna save Angie, too, but I can't waltz in and say, "Hi, Pop. I'm a dolphin."
Sykes: Lenny?
Lenny: And the Sharkslayer's a fake.
Syke: Fake?
Lenny: Come on. We're gonna need a better plan than that.
Sykes: [laughs] This is a joke, right? Because I told Lino... Shut up, Lino. Shut up. [high-pitched] Tell me you didn't make it all up, kid! Tell me that's not Lenny. Tell me you're a real Sharkslayer. Please.
Oscar: I'm sorry, Sykes, I'm not. But the sharks don't know that.
Sykes: Will you stop screwin' around? This'll never work. We're dead.
Oscar: Thank you, Sykes. Thank you. My man Sykes just begged me not to murder-lise all y'all up in here. Now, I might listen to him, but then again I might not. And that depends on the individual behavior of all the individuals in here, individually. Ain't that right?
Hammerhead 1: Look, he's got dolphin muscle.
Hammerhead 2: My uncle Vito got whacked by one of those.
Oscar: Now which one of you sardines called this meeting?
Don Lino: [enters] That would be me. So, this is the Sharkslayer. I've been lookin' forward to meeting you. I feel like we're practically family. You know that? Funny, ain't it? I brought my kids into the world, full of love and care, and you took them out. You know who I am? Do you know who I am? I'm the Don. The boss of the Great White Sharks.
Luca: Hey, boss, I saved you a seat.
Don Lino: I've been runnin' this reef since before you was born. And if you thought a guy like me can't get to a guy like you... Guess what? You thought wrong.
[He lifted up the cover to reveal the gagged Angie.]
Oscar: Pah. Man, you the one who's wrong. I barely even know that girl. What's your name, miss?
Angie: [muffled] Angie.
Lola: Oh, yeah? Well, I say he's bluffing.
Shark: Marone, if I wasn't married...
Feinberg: How ya doin', pretty lady?
Oscar: Lola. We meet again.
Lola: You know, Sharkslayer, there's only one thing I like better than money. Revenge.
Shark: Oh! I'm in love.
Don Lino: Your sharkslayin' days are over. And there ain't nothing you can do about it.
[Oscar laughs]
[Lenny and Sykes laugh]
Don Lino: Huh? What's so funny?
Luca: Ow.
Oscar: You got nothing. Nothing! Sebastian, take her out.
[As commanded, Lenny swoops down and "eats" Angie.]
[Oscar hums U Can't Touch This]
- Can't touch this.
- Can't touch this.
- Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
- Stop. Oscar time.
Oscar: OK, new rules. Nobody, I repeat, nobody, makes a move without my OK. I am the Panama Canal, baby. From now on, everything flows through me.
Giuseppe: What'd he do? I can't see it.
Oscar: You don't lose a tooth, you don't grow one back without my OK, OK?
Mako: OK.
Oscar: If you sneeze, you don't wipe that boogie without my OK, OK?
Orca: OK.
Oscar: And you don't say "OK" without my OK. OK?
Sykes: Uh-oh. OK, thank you all for coming. We gotta go.
Oscar: One more thing. What's with all y'all living in the Love Boat?
Sykes: Oscar.
Oscar: Y'all are supposed to be the mob. Get yourselves a real hideout.
Lenny: [gags] Oscar.
Oscar: And take a good look, Lino. It's over. You're old school.
Sykes: Oscar!
Oscar: What?
[Lenny retches. vomitting all the stuff, including Angie.]
Lenny: The horror! The horror!
[The shark eats the license plate.]
Oscar: [laughs sheepishly] Um... excuse me. Ang, are you OK?
Angie: No, I'm not OK. He ate me...
Lenny: [grossed out] I couldn't take it. The taste was killin' me.
[As he lamaneted, Lino recognized who he is.]
Don Lino: Lenny? Is that you? You're alive? I thought I lost you. What are you wearing? Huh? What is that?
[Lenny takes off his black and yellow scarf, then scrubs his nose with his sponge and takes off the red rubber band. The sharks gasps in assortment.]
Luca: Hey, boss, it's Lenny. He was wearing a disguise so we wouldn't recognize him, but now he's not wearing a disguise, so we do recognize him.
Lenny: Hi, Pop.
Don Lino: [outraged] Are you kiddin' me? Are you kiddin' me?! Are you outta your mind? Do you have any idea how this looks?
Giuseppe: This is the best sit-down I've ever been to.
Don Lino: What are you doing with him? He took out your flesh and blood, Frankie.
Lenny: But, Pop, listen...
Don Lino: But nothing. You never take sides against the family. Ever.
Oscar: Hey, Don. Lino. Sir. Listen. It's not his fault. This is between you and me.
Don Lino: What did I ever do to you? You took Frankie away and you turned Lenny into a dolphin! I'm gonna get you!
Angie: Oscar, look out!
Lenny: Oscar, swim! Swim for your life!
Don Lino: You're gonna regret the day you became the Sharkslayer.
Shrimp: Well, well, well. Look who's stuck in the porthole. You still hungry, big guy? Well, say hello to my little friends.
[The shrimp started to attack Lino.]
Bernie: Try it again.
Ernie: Whale Wash, you get a whale of a wash and the price... Oh, my gosh!
Bernie: All right. You got it right.
Oscar: Everybody out of the way.
Ernie: Blow out!
Shark!
Oscar: Come on, Lino, it's time to clean up your act.
Lenny: Pop, leave him alone!
Oscar: All right, Lino! Game's over! Lenny? What are you doing in there?
Lenny: Sorry.
Oscar: Where's Lino? He's right behind me, isn't he?
Don Lino: You're mine now! Let's finish this, Sharkslayer.
Oscar: Oh, we're about to.
[whirring]
[music on headphones]
Thank you for coming to Whale Wash.
Angie: OK, somebody needs to get me out of the bubble. Today.
Oscar: Angie...
Katie Current: The Sharkslayer does it again. This time, luring two sharks into his death-trap of hygiene.
Oscar: Wait no.
Katie: Oscar, you're the somebody everybody wants to be. The top of the food chain. Tell our cameras how it feels to be you.
Oscar: Angie.
Lenny: Oscar, get me outta here, quick. I need a head start to get as far away as possible.
Don Lino: Look what you did to him.
Oscar: It's a big misunderstanding. If you just-
Katie Current: Sharkslayer. Over here! One more question sharkslayer.
[chant] Sharkslayer. Sharkslayer.
Oscar: Stop! I am not a real Sharkslayer!
[everyone gasps]
Oscar: I lied.
Don Lino: What?
Crazy Joe: And I'm not a real financial advisor. [sobs]
Oscar: OK. It was an anchor that killed Frankie. I didn't have anything to do with it, and neither did Lenny.
Don Lino: If that was true, why did you run away?
Lenny: Because you always wanted me to be like Frankie. I'll never be the shark you want me to be.
Oscar: What is your problem? So your son likes kelp. So his best friend is a fish. So he likes to dress like a dolphin. So what? Everybody loves him just the way he is. Why can't you? Don't make the same mistake that I did. I didn't know what I had until I lost it.
Lino: Will you get me outta this so I can hug my kid and tell him I'm sorry?
Lenny: Pop.
[whirring]
Lino: Come here, you. I love you, Son, no matter what you eat, or how you dress.
Angie: Oscar?
Oscar: Angie? Angie, I wish I knew now what I knew then. I mean, I wish you knew what I knew, I mean, before this...
Crazy Joe: You're blowin' it, man.
Oscar: Mind your business. It's emotional and it's pressure. What I'm saying, I just... I didn't need the top of the reef. Everything I wanted was right there in front of me the whole time.
Angie: Well, what about being a somebody?
Oscar: I'm nobody without you. You're not helping.
Angie: Come here, you big dumb dummy-head.
Sykes: I never told you two this, but you're the best henchman a guy ever had. C'mon, group hug.
Sorry, man.
Come, Sykes, try again, mon.
Don't fret.
Sykes: Forget it. The moment's gone.
Oscar: So, uh, Lino... Uh, Don... We cool, right? I mean, like the reef is safe? Walk the streets, you know, without... aaah! You know.
Lino: Yeah, we're cool.
[cheering]
Katie Current: Oscar. Excuse me. You've lost everything you lied so hard to achieve. Tell me, what's next for you?
Angie: Come on, everyone's waiting, Mr. Manager.
Oscar: All right, I just gotta put the finishing touch on my new desk. Love ya, Pop.
Sykes: Yo, dog.
Oscar: Sykes.
Sykes: All right, partner, let's see what you can do.
Oscar: Sykes and Oscar's Whale Wash is now open for business.
[# Car Wash]
Oscar: Yo, E, B. Let's get this party bumpin'.
Yo, yo.
It's E and B on the wheels of steel.
Oscar: Yo, Christina. Missy. How about we have a little Oscar-licious fun?
- Yo, small tuna fish, I'm one big catch
- You might not ever get rich
- Let me tell you,
it's better than diggin' a ditch
- There ain't no tellin'
who you might meet... [Oscar] Don't try this at home.
- A movie star or maybe a common thief
- # Workin' at the car wash
- # Whoa whoa yeah yeah - # At the car wash, yeah
- # Ooh, yeah - # At the car wash
- # Sing it with me...
Lenny: Hey, Angie, sorry Pop and I are late, but we brought some new customers.
Luca: Hey, how ya doin'?
Angie: Wow.
OK, guys, come on in.
- This ain't no place to be
if you're planning on being a star
- Let me tell you it's always cool
- And the boss don't mind sometimes
if you're acting like a fool
- # Working at the car wash...
Sykes: No, snap it. You're not snapping it.
Lino: I'm snapping it.
Sykes: A lot of great whites can't do it, yo.
Lino: Yo?
Sykes: Yo, what's up?
Lino: Up with what?
Sykes: Yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo...
Lino: You say "yo" one more time, I'm gonna yo you.
Sykes: I'm sorry.
- OK, doo, I pimped your hide.
- All right.
Orca: Hey. You think this is funny? What am I, a clown to you?
- Car wash
- Sharks in the water
Make their jaws lock
- When I swim through the grim
I'm too hot
- You can make y'all bets
Y'all small tuna fish - # I'm one big catch
- # Sharkslayer
- Bow down player... - What you got?
- You don't want none of this.
You gotta be kidding.
Break it down, fellas.
- to
I gotta keep that fat stack comin'... You got served.
- Workin' at the car wash
- Hey yeah
- At the car wash, yeah
- Come on, work, baby, work it
Sing it - # At the car wash
- # Hey yeah
- At the car wash, yeah
- Come on, work, baby, work it
Sing it
- At the car wash
- Workin' at the car wash, yeah
- So come on, come on,
come on, come on
- Now keep it comin'
- You may not ever get rich, but hey
- A Shark Tale exclusive
- Ooh, hey
- Get your car washed today
- Ooh, hey
- Get your car washed today #
[# D: Lies And Rumors]
[bell]
Lola: Hello? Hello. Oscar? Listen, baby, I know I was a bad girl, but, come on, you'd have to be crazy not to take me back.
Crazy Joe: Did someone say crazy?
[# Justin Timberlake & Timbaland: Good Foot]
Taxi! Hey, taxi! Hello!
Crazy Joe: Hey! You gonna eat the rest of your popcorn? Bleah! Too much butter! Hey, a nacho!
[siren]
[# Mary J Blige: Got To Be Real]
You're not even halfway done yet.
[# Cheryl Lynn: Sweet Kind Of Life]
Crazy Joe: What? You see this guy? He hardly worked on the movie at all! Always on the phone. Yakking, yakking, yakking. Hah!
[# Pussy Cat Dolls: We Went As Far As We Felt Like Going]
Crazy Joe: Man, have you guys seen what's playing next door? Hoo-hoo! Stinky!
Mrs. Sanchez: What you doing? Go on, get outta here! Go home! It's past your bedtime!
